Can't Sleep

I can't sleep. I keep mulling over life in my head. Right now I'm worried about my son. He is sick but doesn't have a fever. Kinda worried about the swine flu. My wife put that idea in my head. She is definitely the worry wart of the family and thinks the worst of everything. Damn though- the swine flu is some messed up shit.

I'm also thinking about my past. How I spent the majority of my 40 years intoxicated. I guess there really isn't a drug I haven't done at least once. My favorites- coke, weed, X, alcohol, acid, mushrooms, percocet. Did a lot of those in the past. It's funny how I quit them all except alcohol. It took a long time to quit smoking weed, but a job took care of that. Coke was out once my wife found out. That was a bitch habit to stop. The acid, X,  and mushrooms weren't hard at all. Percocet was just a sleep aid during my coke binges.  Drinking just seemed to go along with all of them, and when I had to stop getting high then the drinking increased. Next thing you know I'm pounding cocktails all night.

Also thinking about my mother and father. She was an alcoholic who died from lung cancer. He is a dead asshole who tried to kill my spirit daily (he still does but thats a long story).

Thinking how I need to quit smoking Winstons.

I'm also unemployed right now- construction is a bitch and thats my forte. I need to work and a purpose. However, maybe my purpose is sobriety.

Thinking I'm thinking to damn much!