A Brief History

Why am I an addict? I am an addict because I chose to be. I believe everything we do is a conscious choice. I made the choice to partake in drugs and alcohol at an early age. I took my first hit off a joint when I was in jr. high, drank my first beer in middle school, and didn't stop until the other day. I did, however, quit everything but drinking sometime ago. That's when the drinking got heavier. I was up to around 12-15 crown and cokes an evening before sloshing myself to bed. For years I blamed it on my abusive father, my demanding wife, a job I hated. I blamed it on everything but myself. But I was a functioning alcoholic. I went to work and did my job to the best of my ability, I coached my son's soccer team, I did my home chores. I did everything a man should do except with a drink in my hand, or on the brain. Drinking was second nature to me. A cocktail went with everything- football, hunting, fishing, sex, writing. You name it I did it with a drink in hand (except work). I'll tell more later. Right now I feel overwhelmed.