9:45 PM

Rained all day while hiking. Nice to be out in the woods and the family got along for quit a while. FInally I guess my wife couldn't take it any longer and decided to break the peace by telling me what I need to do different. She said, in a brief- quit looking for a job (we need me to work for 1- my value personally. 2- money for the family) and fix up the house (yesterday she was worried about spending money), how I need to change my ways and do what she thinks is best, quit smoking, and be more positive. Very sad. What man wants a wife that doesn't like who he is, tells him what to do, doesn't want any physical relations. I feel very trapped though, its not like I can leave without a job or my son. Crush me royal to not be with him- very torn. I think back to my mother and fathers relationship and my mother felt trapped as well.

Later my son tried to pull the same shit my wife did earlier. Monkey see, monkey do.

Is God trying to teach me a lesson- if so I wish school would get out, very tired of being a whinny baby and lonely.