Going Good, Finally

Not thinking about drinking at night anymore. Went on a 3 day weekend with friends and the first night was hard, after that- easy. Its funny how stupid people look when your sober and they are drunk.

Acupunture rocks! I recommend it for anyone who can afford it. Its even working for my wife and her Crohn's. Hope I get some lovin soon!

Getting published writing a lot and pretty busy. I won't be able and don't need to vent anymore.

Thanks to all for reading! Good luck on your own recovery.

Life Rolls Along

Been a couple of days since I last posted. I survived a football weekend with the buddies and didn't drink. I think they enjoyed the designated driver aspect more than my usual drunken self. It keeps getting easier each day and for that I'm thankful.

My wife and I are enjoying the benefits of acupuncture. We both seem more relaxed and not as hateful.

My son's hormones are raging. I had to take his door off the hinges last night to prove to him he cannot control us and act like a smart-ass. Pretty stupid I guess, but effective.

Still unemployed on the construction front, but getting some more articles published.

Life just seems to roll along no matter what.

Obama Wins the Nobel Peace Prize

President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize for what? Talking? What is so perplexing is that the polls for the awards closed 2 weeks after he became President. I think he won because he is 1/3 black. I am not a racist, do not care what color you are, or believe a color makes you any different than anyone else. It is not the 1950s anymore. So, in my eyes the Nobel Peace prize has become a joke.

Al Gore winning it set the stage for it's incredibility. He won because of a movie he used to further increase his pocketbook. If you don't believe me look at the cars he drives, house he lives in, and the fact that our earth is in a cooling trend.

My rant today- racism and stupidity. I am white, never received any help, or used the "N" word. But, what do I get? The blame for all that's wrong. Do I get a college fund, an all white magazine, an all white college to send my child too, or special priviledges- NO! Could I win the Nobel Peace prize for being white? NO!

Stupidity- I got it, spent my life intoxicated for years. Now I'm sober- give me an award for bettering myself. Maybe I'll make a movie about it and win the Nobel Peace Prize.

All this is pissing me off. Gonna go and have a smoke; but not a drink. Yesterday was what? 11 or 12 weeks. Hey, give me a cookie for that!

Tuesday- Wow, I missed a day

I missed Monday. Either I was too busy, the drinking doesn't bother me as much, or I'm becoming immune to the insanities of sobriety and my wife. Probably the last, but you never know.

I went paddling this morning. I rose at 4 AM and drove to the river. As I paddled the sun rose, ducks and geese took flight, fish took off with a startled burst of energy and I finally calmed. It is glorious to be by yourself in the morning on the water. My mistress mother nature fills me to completion.

Now I am back home in my office writing. I pray to keep the calm and positive energy I have gathered- SERENITY NOW!

9:45 PM

Rained all day while hiking. Nice to be out in the woods and the family got along for quit a while. FInally I guess my wife couldn't take it any longer and decided to break the peace by telling me what I need to do different. She said, in a brief- quit looking for a job (we need me to work for 1- my value personally. 2- money for the family) and fix up the house (yesterday she was worried about spending money), how I need to change my ways and do what she thinks is best, quit smoking, and be more positive. Very sad. What man wants a wife that doesn't like who he is, tells him what to do, doesn't want any physical relations. I feel very trapped though, its not like I can leave without a job or my son. Crush me royal to not be with him- very torn. I think back to my mother and fathers relationship and my mother felt trapped as well.

Later my son tried to pull the same shit my wife did earlier. Monkey see, monkey do.

Is God trying to teach me a lesson- if so I wish school would get out, very tired of being a whinny baby and lonely.

Sunday Hike

Fixing to go hiking with my family. I love to hike and be outside. The only thing I hate is not smoking. I don't smoke in front of my son, so all day I'll be jonesing and trying to keep my anger down. I'm not in the best mood this morning. Thought about drinking a lot last night. My wife and son went to bed early and I sat up watching TV, thinking about drinking and sex. Woke up this morning and tried to snuggle up to my wife- no go. What did I do in my younger years where karma is screwing me to this extent? Very complexing. However, I didn't drink last night. Been thinking a lot about adultery. Not the best thoughts to have since all I really want is my wife- or is it the kid and the cookie jar syndrome? WTF! All I wanted was a pepsi, and she wouldn't give it too me!

Saturday Soccer

Just got back from coaching my son's soccer game. We lost 6-1. Feel bad for the boys, but it wasn't the coaching. My son is right forward and is a great player. Foot skills, passing, speed, defense; he's got it all. The problem is our defense. These boys could care less and really suck. I feel bad for my boy.

Wife seems nicer, but still demanding after acupuncture.

Didn't drink last night, but was around a drunk woman all night. Starting to see how stupid people look when they are drunk. Hope I wasn't like that too much.

Going to try and spend the day with my wife. Hope it all works out.